In the past I have ranted on this topic but insensitive people somehow keep giving me more to come back to this again and again. I speak on behalf of all those people who are construed fat and have had to silently bear the tirades, remarks and the smirk laden-guffaws of the so-called thin people about them being fat over and over again. I speak for my ilk when I say we feel sorry for all these people who can’t look at us beyond our relationship with gravity. We are so much more. We are strong because we have constantly had to battle not just our bulge but insensitive, unhelpful remarks from people who think fat necessarily has to mean sloth and undisciplined lifestyle! And since these thoughtless knuckleheads are lacking in that specific area of the brain responsible for impulse-control they simply have to let their thoughts out! It is ‘therapeutic’ for them, a sense of superiority and control prevails possibly, a cheap thrill even to tell ‘Oh, why have you put on weight?’ Is that all they can look at?
Recently some bloke came up to me and had to ask, ‘Why have you put on so much weight? You were looking thin a few months back but now you are back!’ I couldn’t help ask him, ‘So when you thought I was looking thin did you tell me that?’ He had no answer for it. This is the point I am trying to make. When you do not have it in you to be genuine you have no right to criticise, judge or point a finger either!
But its sad people prefer to categorise me as ‘fat’. I have learnt to turn a blind eye but I hear them. I wish to tell such people that I am much more than my girth and that my weight is just a numerical reflection of my love-hate relationship with gravity! People will see what they ‘want to see’ in me. If it serves some twisted notion of their sense of control to call me so, so be it, but be prepared to get it back because what you dole out so merrily you will get back! In kind!
The gentleman who had to give me his critical views is at least 30 stones fatter than me. He ought to look at his own backyard and he’d find Sumo wrestlers there! And he had the audacity to tell me that ‘I look fatter than before?’ I am not a nasty person but when I hear such remarks I swear there is an instant hot blood surge to my brain and I want to immediately say ‘Oh I heard you had Liposuction!? Is that Botox or are you normally this ‘expressive’!
I am not what one would call ‘being in denial’ but I definitely wouldn’t call myself fat. Yes I do feel fat and depressed when I hear unfair things like this. I am big-built and large; I have taken after my ancestors, I had no say in it. I have broad shoulders, from carrying years of burden I can’t talk about. I have huge arms from repeatedly carrying heavy things which people around me haven’t had the decency or courtesy to help me with. Yeah I have a big tummy and butt because I have been busy having two babies and caring for them for fifteen years of my life and some health issues I can’t attend to now! And yes my genetic predisposition is high; ask my cousins or my grandmother with whom I share this trait! I have prioritised others instead of hitting the gym or the roads. Others probably think I am making excuses; after all if I wanted something I’d find a way wouldn’t I? It’s as simple as that! I just haven’t wanted it!
Not that I have to bother telling others all this, but I don’t see how anybody has any right to call me anything when they don’t look at their own backs or butts for that matter. I am sorry, I didn’t realise others were an expert on my life and how I ought to be in it! Maybe I ought to take notes in sheer awe and unmitigated reverence!