Here’s a gist of what I heard. The topic being discussed was ‘Kiss, being kissed and learning to kiss!’ My apologies girls, but I have been a girl too, and I can relate to it 100% ! The bracketed segments are my thoughts!
Girl No. 1 – ‘I am determined to get it right this time. I have got it all figured out in my notebook.’ (notebook?? That’s new! Notes on kissing! Wow!). Then referring to her ‘notes’ from a pocket diary, she said, ‘It is going to be the perfect kiss! It’s all about expression. You have to look up into the guy’s eyes with ‘I am the lamb you are thinking of roasting for tonight’s dinner’ expression,’ to get his attention! (Metaphor also clearly defined!)
Girl No. 2 – ‘My secret technique is, ‘I’d flick my heavily mascaraed eyes back and forth from his eyes and lips, bat them a couple of times, then slant my head a little, about approximately 45 degrees right, have to get the angle right. It’s all in the eyes.’(This one must have majored in Geometry or heading towards Optometry!!)
Girl No.3 – ‘But that depends on the height!’ My guy is about my height only. I don’t want to look down at him. So I just have to inch forward 12 inches, then gently touch his lips with mine, let it linger for awhile. I think it’s about touch.’ (Hmm, tactile approach! That’s new for a kiss!)
Girl No. 4 – ‘It’s about technique! I’d focus on coaxing the corner of his lips with my tongue and try and gain entry. The tongue would then take over, first right side then left, top and then bottom. I would then close my eyes, sigh indolently and put my arms around his neck. After that I guess I would just have to let things take it’s own course.’ (What profound clarity in thought and action!)
Girl No. 1 was furiously taking notes. She decided to ask an important doubt at this point. ‘But should I sigh before or after I put my arms around his neck?’ (Miss. Perfection! Notes! Planning and precision!)
Girl No.4, gathering all her wisdom – ‘No, the sigh has to come first in order to ensure continuity of the kiss!’ (Continuity of my life would have been my area of focus if I wanted to continue breathing and not have my lungs busted with excess carbon dioxide!)
My coffee was clearly forgotten, I was thoroughly enjoying eavesdropping.
‘Girl No.5 who had been just a quiet observer till now pursed her lips and said, ‘In my experience, the actual kiss lasted all of five seconds and tasted like I had squashed a toad between my jaws! Now where did I go wrong?’
I doubled backwards unable to control my laughter! (I have heard of frog turning into a Prince! But this! Ahem! New level!)
I switched off my mental Dictaphone!
Guys and gals! Take heart, nobody is a born kisser! Kissing is a breathtaking expression of love, affection, and fondness whatever. It fills one with warmth, shows you you are loved and expresses whatever needs to be expressed effectively.
Kissing is not a skill to be mastered, but more an art form to be savoured. And every person has his own unique way of executing it. What one may call kissing may actually mean slobbering for the other. There is always a first time!
Kissing cannot be taught, but it just needs to be followed and improved upon. In my humble opinion, it’s not about touch or technique or batting the eyelids. It’s not worth taking notes for or comparing either! It’s about what and how you feel inside you in that moment. Close your eyes, trust in that moment and just follow your heart.
A tip – Chlor-mint before you do!