Just as two bones in a joint need a cartilage as a cushion in between to prevent jolts and to function normally, in the joint called relationship, the two bones called man and woman need the cartilage called love to function. This prevents the actual friction and pain. Over a period this cushion called love tends to get worn out in places, which is when the relationship starts experiencing pain. At such times what the situation needs is strengthening with some much needed investment of time, love and understanding and fortification in the form of reassurance, validation and support.
There is always friction when love is forgotten and it happens due to age and familiarity. When there are projections like ego and insecurity it leads to arguments that could rattle the very foundations of the relationship. Just as the doctor recommends a knee replacement surgery, people in a relationship gone bust think of replacing the partner. Just as invasive procedures are last ditch methods, in relationships too divorce and remarriage are last options.
Compromise and maturity are often one of the best supplements but how many of us truly realise that? We prefer to remain angry and simmer. We delude ourselves to think our joints are irreparable. How does one rework? How does one get past the impossible? How does one let go of all that is bothering us and focus on repairing? What is required is the intention and motivation to work through. It is not about which is the superior joint but what they can do being together to help the body function that needs to be considered.
A man often needs attention, some space, respect and loads of love. A woman needs to know she is wanted, she is respected, she is important and that she belongs. Both need acknowledgement of each other. For a woman every thought, every action is connected. The man needs to realise this. The man on the other hand needs his space. He needs to be respected and trusted. Both don’t like to be told what to do nor do they like to be criticised. Women need to realise this and not breathe down the men’s necks which is construed as nagging. Men need to realise that at the core of it all women care deeply and it is love that steers them and not a sense of control. With these realisations comes the much needed strengthening and efforts at functioning.
It is with all this that one takes the next step forward, knowing that the joints are secure.