As I sat down to mull over this ‘empty spot’ I guess it is not about how long you have known someone or the amount of time you have spoken to that person. It’s about that very moment when you are doing something that you believe in and the person not being there. So then is it about you? Perhaps not! I guess it was knowing I could have made a difference to him; but did I? I wonder!
He is one that hopes for a better tomorrow. He used to spend his days just sitting there with his goofy smile, trying hard to stay awake and make sense of it all. He was someone who would have loved to be loved or be told he was good. With his smile he probably projected a nonchalant attitude and that he thought he was very strong, but I knew he was weak. He cried hard every time because it hurt. He had to pick himself up every time because this cruel world didn’t give him a chance!
In retrospect, I feel he could have said good bye, I’d have wished him well. I also wonder what it takes to leave without a backward glance. Was the past too painful or was there nothing worthwhile to turnaround for? The lantern after all is now just a spot in the dark far away behind!
Whatever! I guess I will never know! But know this, my dear student, wherever you are, I wish you the best and I will want the very best for you! And I will always think of you fondly as a student with a goofy smile!
With all my love!