I couldn’t help reflect on few things. I have come to realise that people prefer to forget where they have come from and what they have been through. It is probably their mind’s way of insulating them from feeling bad or reminding them of that aspect of their life which they deem unpleasant. They prefer to forget who was with them when they were down. 
 
It’s these same people who look down upon people who are now down on their luck. They prefer to tag them negative or unpleasant and put a condition on themselves that they’d only associate with people who are positive or those who are not having a bad run in their lives. So much so they mock others in such situation or don't want to have anything to do with them since they reek of negativity and remind them what they now in retrospect consider unlikeable, not realising they themselves had been in the same boat.  It is sad and they ought to know that they are here now in the present as a result of all they have been through in the past. They have emerged from their hell thanks to the support of few people who never even for a minute thought of giving up on them.  Who we are now is shaped by what happened to us in the past and those lessons. These lessons ought to enable us to be grounded and be thankful for the people who were with us at a time when we were down, not change us in a way we forget or disown our own. They are the true ones.
 
Something very beautiful happens to people when their world has fallen apart. A humility, a nobility, a higher intelligence, a transcendental freedom emerges at just the point when our knees hit the floor. It is that one moment that serves us for the rest of our lives. 

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Bajirao Mastani is the love story based in 17th century India, between the Maratha Peshwa Bajirao and the Bundelkhand princess, Mastani. I enjoyed Bajirao Mastani for its beautiful, vibrant canvas, the director’s mind for his creativity, the sheer grandeur in the form of awe-inspiring sets, mind blowing locales, the period costumes and finally the lilting music that stays with you for its Hindustani flavour.  This apart, considering the fact that a movie is accepted or considered a hit by the power in its story, it is my view that the movie has failed, terribly.
 
My views that arise in the form of questions –
 
I am not able to relate to the love depicted as the entire story is based on this one peg!
 
1. Is love and its attainment the sole be all and end all of life? Where does it spring from? On setting eyes on one another? Isn't love supposed to be as a gradual outcome of mutual respect, mutual acceptance of each other over a period of time? Doesn't this love reek of lust where its attainment is merely a license 'to do the needful'? Does love's destination HAVE to be togetherness at the cost of others' happiness and peace? Can't love just exist in the heart and feel contentment at having known such love? Mastani’s expression of love was self-centric and myopic. Love and its expression at the cost of someone else’ happiness, a divisive society and a kingdom that wears Hinduism fiercely on its forehead. Bajirao’s love and holding on to it, at the cost of his wife’s angst and his kingdom’s disapproval and blatant anger notwithstanding.
 
2. For all his uprighteousness, doesn't Bajirao feel or have a sense of responsibility towards his wife who thinks the world of him? Where is his sense of commitment towards his wife? Mastani’s justification – ‘He loves me yes, but he hasn’t stopped loving you either’ feels like a slap on the face of the beleaguered woman. Or does Bajirao think attaining Mastani is his entitlement? Or did he accept Mastani out of a sense of gratitude? (since she supposedly saved his life?)
 
3. The only way the wronged woman (Kashibai, Bajirao’s first wife) shows her displeasure is by telling her man not to enter her chambers.
 
The role of a woman!
 
4. On one side, Kashi, the first wife of a Peshwa - her role is relegated to that of walking around with a pooja thali, dressing up, looking pretty and lighting/extinguishing lamps. And when the other woman makes a move she DOES NOT REACT! There is stoic acceptance when she sights her husband in the arms of another woman! In fact she turns away! On the other side Mastani is shown as a brave warrior princess. She manages to infiltrate Bajirao’s camp to see him and request him to help her kingdom that is being attacked. This is a Muslim woman who can ride a horse, wield a sword with finesse, take on four opponents at a time and yet settles to be the second fiddle! Talk of self worth!
 
5. Going by the role of woman prevalent then, how did a Peshwa have the temerity to enter a woman's chambers, a Muslim woman at that, and remove her top to allegedly see her wounds? Cinematic liberties one may say, to fan the love between Bajirao and Mastani one may say, but seriously! Here was a bold woman and considering the fact that the director was anyway taking creative license, he could have shown Bajirao’s attraction for Mastani for her fearlessness, her bravery and the fact that she was someone who broke the old mould of a typical Muslim woman.
 
6. The first wife and second wife merrily dancing in sexy nauvaris in the same frame, in the same room! Originally Kashibai was an arthritic woman who could hardly walk leave around prance around like her saree was full of ants. Ultimate was when Kashi sees Mastani in the nauvari she automatically nazar utharofies! How utterly corny! 
 
The institution of Marriage
7. Bajirao calls Kashi his best friend and confidante, yet he didn't think twice before doing something that'd hurt her. The man could not obviously control his urges, owing to his exalted Peshwadom and machodom no less and respect the institution of marriage, yet wants to give the other woman the status and dignity of a wife! He was very obviously thinking with a certain different part of his anatomy!
 
8. Mastani is fully aware that Bajirao is much married, yet her focus is on ‘getting the man’!
 
The movie, obviously a biopic based on the original Peshwa and his love obviously has taken mega liberties in the name of cinematic license. The director having decided to take that license could have done better justice to the historical characters whose names are etched across the sands of time. To many who take inspiration from history like me, this film is a big let down!

There is this church near my house; in fact I can see its steeple from my balcony. On dark nights when I see the bright neon coloured cross it gives me a silent assurance that I am not alone and there is Someone out there watching over me. For the day time this church does something unique. Every one hour there is a chime that rings out and a verse from the Bible is read out, in English and Tamil.
 
Over the last two years we have become familiar with it and we have all learnt to draw some kind of comfort from it. Every hourly chime would remind me of how limited our time is in this world. It rings out the truth I have possibly wasted one more hour of my life moping or thinking of something utterly useless and negative, or possibly the fact that I have put that particular hour to good use. At the end of the day, before I hit the bed I spend a few moments out there in my balcony in silent communion with what that light stands for.
 
The Bible verses somewhat have a way of resonating with something on our minds at any given point. I have never given it its due but today I just had to. My mind had been gnawing me with something since morning. I was worrying incessantly. Normally I’d resort to hardcore cleaning of the house when I am worried. But having cleaned three bathrooms till they shone I still couldn’t leave behind my agitation. I came out to my balcony to look for the Holy Cross. But since it was daytime I couldn’t see it. Dejected I placed my head on my hand and leaned on the parapet. Almost a minute later the hourly chime rang out followed by the message. And the message was – ‘When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the LORD, your God, your Saviour.’ – Isaiah 43:1-3.
 
I straightened and blinked for few moments. Did I hear right? Yes I did. I am not a Christian but I remembered word by word of that verse! In that moment my worry evaporated into thin air for I believe the Lord had taken it upon Himself. In that moment was also the realisation that I had wasted my time that day by worrying over that which I had no control over. It had merely sapped my energy. Energy I could have used for teaching or writing or that which is going to help me grow.
 
Our time on this Earth is limited and we have a today. A healthy one at that. Let’s fill it with positivity, happy thoughts and hopes for the future. Let’s believe in ourselves and the abilities God has endowed us with. He has not left us adrift at sea. Let us cherish the moments in the hour, so when the night comes, we walk out with a smile, knowing we lived it fully.  

​​​My friend and I were looking through this matrimonial portal where we have registered her name in the hope of finding a good person for her to marry. I have been pushing her to keep the project of finding a groom going although if I know her well she is perfectly content being single. Having been on this site for a while now we have come to the conclusion that most of them who are registered here are morons! Some are weirdos and others are plain jackasses; here only to chit-chat or get phone numbers to possibly start an online friendship or dating.
 
The ever-romantic streak in me was initially hopeful of finding someone for her. If not Prince Charming on a horse-back, at least someone decent with a good job and who can take care of a family. But the streak is now in shreds! That’s how murderous I feel! One wants to try his luck acting in movies leaving his steady job and hence wants a wife who can understand ‘his’ aspirations. Another wants a working wife who will provide and do seva for his extended family of mother, father, uncle, aunt and siblings, totalling 15 or 16. Yet another can’t marry now, but will keep talking, ‘getting to know her’ and will marry ‘when he can’. Another one wants a ‘commitment free’ relationship! Whatever that is! Another one was of the opinion that my friend had to discard her ‘negative ego’ if she wants to find someone to marry. She has stopped trying to make sense of it all.  Having been through the various ranges of reactions at some of the responses, like surprise, indignation, anger, disappointment, frustration and even depression, we have now learnt to laugh at them.
 
The best one was a call from this man who is divorced and had a 6 year old son. My friend was polite enough to take his call. He said he did not believe in ‘earning’ money as he was content with just love! Although my friend felt this instinctual need to retort that he could shove his love somewhere unmentionable, she continued to hear him out just so that she could share few laughs with me later. He told her he was sending his photo and he was sure she’d find him irresistible! Out of a sense of an inexplicable inborn curiosity, she opened her mail to see his picture and she said she fell off her chair! The clown had sent a video of him working out in a tacky gym wearing coolers, music blaring in the background and all! We split our sides laughing!
 
We continue to live in hope and with the solemn thought that it can’t get worse than this. Or can it?