It enrages me big time! For want of anything better to say, people end up saying in by now corny popular usage in tamil circles – konjam poosina madhri iruke! Meaning – you look like you have an extra coat of cemented, buttered fat on you! Or you are stout, portly, obese, plump, overweight! You are a disease! You have given in to temptation! You have zero discipline!
I may be overreacting here, but I wonder when I gave anybody the authority to comment or judge or point an accusatory finger at me! Isn’t it pitiful that me being fat is all that is visible to you? So does that say something about me or you?
When I wrote a piece about the same topic previously, a lot of people came back to me saying – I ought to disregard what others are saying and live my life the way I deem fit and on my terms. Fair enough! But if others can be pompous enough to tell me I am fat then they also ought to know what it takes to hear this.
My weight and the bathroom scales can only give you a numerical reflection of my relationship with gravity. That’s it! It cannot measure who I am! I am much, much more than that! I am a sum total of my beauty, talent, purpose, life force, possibilities, strength and love.
In the equation between ‘how I am’ and ‘how I look’, in a world that harps on beauty only being skin-deep and what not, how is me being fat an innocuous topic bordering on polite conversation? I think it’s downright rude, condescending and offensive! I’d rather people not be polite and try to make conversation if this is all they can say!
If only people can take a moment off from their self-absorbed lives and opinionated reflections to look at all that I am trying to hide with a smile that quite doesn’t reach my eyes! If only people look into my eyes to see it awash with unshed tears and the dark circles beneath that speaks of many sleepless nights! If only people look at my shoulders that hunch sometimes in defeat after a continuous war with the world! If only people can see the limp as I walk carrying the crosses I do!
I believe I have it in me to look beyond the surface because I know what it feels like to be treated like someone who is just fat and has no depth! For fat people, life is a continuous battle and not necessarily just with the bulge!
Please learn to reach out with your hearts rather than just mechanical eyes. You will make lot more meaningful connections that way!
Literally and metaphorically!