A student of mine left for good! To the US and I don’t know why but I feel sad! Like there is an empty spot which I am not sure quite how to fill. Why sad one may ask, after all US is always a better prospect one may say! Well let me come to the why part! This student, whom I have known for all of just 6 months left without saying goodbye! I was in his class till that last day. He just sat there, his usual droopy, unobtrusive, uncommunicative self doing what was required of him. I was told the next day by his classmates when I saw his empty seat. In fact none of the teachers knew! It was not as if I had an axe to grind with him. Neither was I particularly close to this student; in fact English was not his forte. Neither was he interested in the subject nor did he make an effort to do better. He was exasperating and his answers left me seething! I perhaps ought to just shrug and go on! After all what is one student? And I hadn’t known him for long, just six months. There are many more right? Not exactly!
As I sat down to mull over this ‘empty spot’ I guess it is not about how long you have known someone or the amount of time you have spoken to that person. It’s about that very moment when you are doing something that you believe in and the person not being there. So then is it about you? Perhaps not! I guess it was knowing I could have made a difference to him; but did I? I wonder!
He is one that hopes for a better tomorrow. He used to spend his days just sitting there with his goofy smile, trying hard to stay awake and make sense of it all. He was someone who would have loved to be loved or be told he was good. With his smile he probably projected a nonchalant attitude and that he thought he was very strong, but I knew he was weak. He cried hard every time because it hurt. He had to pick himself up every time because this cruel world didn’t give him a chance!
In retrospect, I feel he could have said good bye, I’d have wished him well. I also wonder what it takes to leave without a backward glance. Was the past too painful or was there nothing worthwhile to turnaround for? The lantern after all is now just a spot in the dark far away behind!
Whatever! I guess I will never know! But know this, my dear student, wherever you are, I wish you the best and I will want the very best for you! And I will always think of you fondly as a student with a goofy smile!
With all my love!
As I sat down to mull over this ‘empty spot’ I guess it is not about how long you have known someone or the amount of time you have spoken to that person. It’s about that very moment when you are doing something that you believe in and the person not being there. So then is it about you? Perhaps not! I guess it was knowing I could have made a difference to him; but did I? I wonder!
He is one that hopes for a better tomorrow. He used to spend his days just sitting there with his goofy smile, trying hard to stay awake and make sense of it all. He was someone who would have loved to be loved or be told he was good. With his smile he probably projected a nonchalant attitude and that he thought he was very strong, but I knew he was weak. He cried hard every time because it hurt. He had to pick himself up every time because this cruel world didn’t give him a chance!
In retrospect, I feel he could have said good bye, I’d have wished him well. I also wonder what it takes to leave without a backward glance. Was the past too painful or was there nothing worthwhile to turnaround for? The lantern after all is now just a spot in the dark far away behind!
Whatever! I guess I will never know! But know this, my dear student, wherever you are, I wish you the best and I will want the very best for you! And I will always think of you fondly as a student with a goofy smile!
With all my love!
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